Amazon Warriors and Chupacabras
by JDPhoenix
Summary: Chad has the bad luck to need the So Random cast when only one member is left on the lot. Spoilers for "Sonny in the Kitchen with Dinner"


Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I in any way associated with, Sonny with a Chance.

AN: I'm shamelessly using this author's note to pimp the new SWAC community that angellwings started on LJ. See my profile for the link.

**Amazon Warriors and Chupacabras**

Chad marched into the Prop House and promptly stopped dead. He had expected to see Nico and Grady in the middle of some insane project and Tawni fawning over herself in the corner. Instead, he found Zora standing on the coffee table, waving a broom at the ceiling.

"Zora?" he asked tentatively.

Zora whirled around and Chad had to fight the urge to run away in fear at the expression on her face.

"Chad Dylan Cooper," she growled.

"Uh, do you know where your fellow losers are?" he asked. "I'd really rather talk to them right now."

Zora propped the broom up beside her and Chad had the sudden thought that she looked like some sort of stunted Amazon warrior, fresh from battle with her enemy's head on the end of her spear. Chad's eyes widened. Stunted Amazon warrior? That was _exactly_ what Mackenzie Falls needed for Sweeps!

"Why should I tell you?" Zora asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

Chad sighed. "Can you just tell me where they are?"

"Why do you need to know?" Zora asked slowly, as if talking to a small child.

Chad glared at her and said, "I got this really weird call from Sonny."

Zora raised an eyebrow. "Define weird."

"Right, I forgot who I was talking to. I couldn't really understand what she said but she was yelling and she sounded really freaked, plus there was the sound of crushing metal and gears." He shuddered. "Like what I'd expect a dentist's office would sound like if I had cavities, which I don't," he added quickly.

"Crushing metal? Gears whirring?"

"Well, I didn't actually say 'whirring' but yeah…."

Zora hopped off the table and marched up to him. "We've gotta work fast, Cooper, before it's too late."

"Cooper?" he echoed. "And before what's too late?"

"We've got to save Sonny! Clearly her idiot plan -- which I could have told her was going to fail if only she'd asked me, why does no one ever ask me? -- has gone horribly awry and now she's at the mercy of either lumberjacks, appliance repairmen, or a chupacabra." She sighed and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry to say it's probably the last one, which means there may not be much of Sonny left when we get there."

"What?" Chad demanded. "There's no such thing as --"

"_That's_ what they said about the one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater. But we have actual footage of that."

"That was a sketch from your show!"

"Ha! So you _do_ watch our show!"

Chad ran his hands through his air in aggravation. "Listen, regardless of your crazy theories, Sonny is clearly in some sort of trouble. Now will you just _tell me where she is_?"

Zora's eyes narrowed. "Why do you want to know?"

"Wha -- you just said you thought she was at the mercy of a chupacabra! She needs help!"

"So? She helps our ratings. If she gets killed by a monster your show does better. Why do you want to help her?"

Chad seethed for a moment before his shoulders sagged and he asked, "You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?"

"Oh, yeah."

"I … _may_ … kind of … a little bit … like Sonny Monroe."

Zora walked past him, taking care to hit him in the shoulder with the broom as she went. "She's at her apartment, 219 Lancaster. You go on ahead and I'll follow behind with my chupacabra defense kit."

Chad rolled his eyes and sped out of the Prop House, ignoring the questioning glances he was getting from cast and crewmembers who had never seen him hurry anywhere except out of Mr. Condor's way. He was only in a rush because it sounded like Sonny was in trouble and he wasn't about to let anyone else -- especially Kiss Cam guy -- help her first. Plus, if there was a chupacabra, it would be an excellent anecdote for his memoirs. Tentative title:_ How I Saved Sonny Monroe from a Mythical Beast and Other Chad Dylan Cooper Memories.

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